As we started Lent and are getting closer to the Holy Week we also suffer with the Lord as we are reminded of the suffering our Lord willingly accepted for us. He never promised us to follow Him would be easy. He said in Luke 14:27 “And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple”. Jesus also promises us another helper in John 14:15-18 “If you love me, keep My commandments. And I will pray to the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever– the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him, but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans. I will come to you”. Galatians 5:25 “If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit”.
Galatians 5:22-24 “But the fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy and Peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. And those who are in Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires”. In John 8:12 “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will have the light of life”. 2 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”
“You did not choose Me, but I chose you” (John 15:16)
Lent is a perfect time for us to renew our bonds with the Lord and to surrender our lives to Him. He will lead us where He wants us to go.
by Brunhilde Luken
Lord, I give myself to thee with all that I have
With all that I am
Please stay present every moment of my life.
Fill me with your love
Let me be all that you want me to be
I praise you with all my heart
Please open my eyes to the needs around me
Please Lord have mercy on all the people that are hurting
Fill them with your peace
Please bring peace to this earth.
To you O Lord I lift my eyes
My imperfections I bring to you
For you to cleanse them all
Help me to never hurt you again
When I thought I finally managed
You test it and find it not done
Sorrow fills my heart
My love for you not pure enough
Again I lift myself to you
Forgive me and wash me clean once more.
It’s evening now
The day has ended
Your love I felt so strong.
The following story is an experience I had soon after I wrote the above poem. I truly felt this was a test; did I really mean what I said?
Do you love me most?
Yes Lord, I love you most.
Towards the end of November 2006 my husband Lubbo became suddenly quite ill. The flu season had just hit the area and we both thought he had the flu. He kept fighting a fever with aspirin. After a few days things got worse. He started to get delirious and his temperature rose to as high as 104 degrees Fahrenheit. I rushed him to the hospital on Sunday morning.
They immediately put him on liquids. He was severely dehydrated. Diagnosed with a bacterial bladder infection he was treated immediately with antibiotic and more liquids. After several hours of treatment he was released into my care. He has been in the care of a urologist for a high PSA count. This also gave us much reason for concern. With many prayers and our Lords help he got well soon. I felt very scared.
We went on our winter vacation south and enjoyed the warmer climate. His strength returned as both of us enjoyed biking and hiking along the beautiful Hilton Head beaches. Thankfully to our Lord for our good health we forgot quickly about Lubbo’s past illness.
I try to walk close with our Lord. Over the years I received many visions and dreams to guide me along the way. One night in early May in a dream vision there was this gentleman sitting outside on a bench. I kept walking past him again and again. I asked him what are you doing here? He answered: “I am the undertaker, I am waiting for Lubbo”.
Mostly when I wake up and had such a powerful dream vision I would tell Lubbo about it. However, this dream vision was different and frightening and I did not tell him anything. I did talk intensely to our Lord about this one. I kept repeating our Lord’s promise to us “ Fear not for I am with you”.
Then in early May, a few days after this frightening dream vision, my husband suddenly started the seemingly same pain and a rising temperature. This time we were sure it was the same and he quickly went to his doctor. Especially after this dream vision I made sure he went right away. I took it as a warning. To be on the safe side, his doctor sent him for a MRI of his appendix. We only drive one car and on this day I did not accompany him to the doctor. We both did not feel it was that important at the time. In order to have a MRI he had to drink some liquid and then wait 2 hours. In the meantime he came home with little concern it could be his appendix.
Before he left I gave him a big hug and said “I love you” immediately, right in front of me, I saw this pure white light, larger than my husband, it looked like it was enclosing us both and I heard “ Do you love me most”? For a second I was taken aback, instantly I knew I heard our Lord’s voice. I answered:” Yes Lord, I love you most”. My mind was spinning, what was this all about? “ Fear not for I am with you” In emergencies this seems to be my favorite bible verse. It brings me much comfort. My husband went back to the hospital to have the MRI. He was asked to wait for the results.
The doctor came to speak with him after checking the results of the MRI and informed him that they had to operate immediately. They consulted with his doctor to find out who would perform the operation. After all was ready my husband called me at home with the information. Of course I thought he was joking. Very quickly I learned that this was not a joke. I wished him the best of luck and hung up. I took a deep breath and talked to the Lord.
Shortly before all this was happening I wrote the poem “Surrender”. This was a test. Did I fully surrender to our Lord? I was not prepared for this. I started to pray. The thought came to me to try to bargain. This was serious business of our Lord and not bargaining time. OK Lord, you want me to fully surrender to You. Yes Lord, I fully surrender my life to You. Your will be done but please, if possible, let all be well. Let him be healthy.
I remembered the dream vision of the undertaker so vividly that I started to shake. Yes, Lord I trust You, Your will be done. Not knowing what I was facing I called a friend to take me to the hospital. They picked me up within half an hour and drove me to the hospital. I took a small book of poems with me. Lubbo enjoyed listening to me reading from my poetry book.
We arrived at the hospital while he was still in the operating room. Every minute seemed like an hour. My friend was with me. We kept walking up and down the hallway to pass the time. I checked at the nurse’s station which room he would be brought back to. To pass the time I checked it out. A gentleman greeted me. He occupied the second bed in the room. He was very talkative and told me how much the people love to talk to him at his working place. To pass the time, I started reading some of my poetry to him. I quickly learned he was a faithful Christian. After he told me a few stories I asked him what his profession was, and behold he told me he was an undertaker. I was so relieved and kept repeating thank you, thank you and thank you. He looked at me very surprised. I then told him the story of my dream vision. He walked also close with Christ. He said, so if your husband gets to go home tomorrow so will I, and so it was.
Shortly later my husband came out of the operating room and all had gone well. He was allowed to go home the next day. Only then did I tell my husband of my dream vision. He was relieved that I did not tell him before hand. I read some poetry to both of them. Relieved that all has gone well, I went home later that night. I thanked the Lord.
This was a real test of the Lord. Did I mean when I said to the Lord,” yes Lord, I love You most.” I did feel I passed this test as hard as it was. The word surrender took on a much bigger meaning.